How I Met Connie
How Connie and I met can be nothing short of a divine encounter. I remember sitting in my car in a parking lot as my wife ran some errands. I stumbled across her post about wanting to write a book about singleness. In it, she asked what others thought she should include in this book. This post blew up with over 400 comments in just a few days. 
I had never heard of Connie before, but her post caught my eye because I had just gotten married and had wrestled with an extended season of singleness. I experienced a lot of hurt during my single years and had few people offer true biblical counsel to help me through it.
As I read each comment on that post with a topic suggestion for her book, I felt my heart yell, “Yes! This needs to be talked about!” So, I did something that surprised even myself.
Without knowing her, I asked if I could co-write the book with her.
I tried to co-write a book before with my friends. We were about 70% of the way done writing the book when they had to drop it because they were too busy. So, I vowed never to co-write a book again. But God was moving.
Co-writing With Connie White
Little did I know that Connie—before writing the post that caught my attention—was considering looking for a guy to co-write the book with, because she knew there were important topics for guys that could only come from another male. We checked out each other’s works to make sure we were aligned theologically. Then, after a lot of prayer, we got to work.
Co-writing with Connie was an incredible experience.
She had an incredible balance of grace, truth, and love. There were many decisive moments when our visions and styles clashed and we could’ve easily split and written our own books, but she handled each of these instances in a very spirit-filled way to unify us and help us get our focus where it needed to be.
I had no clue just how difficult it could have been to co-write a book like this with someone, but with Connie, it felt effortless. I often look back and think about how many things could’ve gone wrong, but didn’t because of Connie.
She gracefully bore with me as I implemented insane systems to keep our chapters organized. She tactfully reined me back in when I veered off-course in my chapters. And let’s be real, the only reason Single Isn’t Second-Best has done so well is because of her. My chapters are okay, but her chapters have a way of calling out sin and helping the reader refocus on Christ, all while feeling encouraged.
Mourning The World’s Loss
The world should mourn for the loss of Connie White. We shouldn’t mourn for Connie because I know she’s sitting right by Christ in all of heaven’s glorious splendor. But, the world should mourn for what we lost. Connie was unique. She was humble, caring, thoughtful, spirit-filled, giving, insightful, servant-hearted, and generous. I can’t count the number of ways she’s blessed me in both word and deed.
I often peruse the reviews people left for our book on Amazon, and can’t help but smile at all the people Connie’s encouraged. People she or I have never met have found hope in their singleness because of what God spoke through her. And her impact continues.
I feel so blessed to have known and worked beside Connie. I’m beyond privileged to have my name beside hers on a book. I don’t feel worthy of such an honor.
Connie was amazing. Her loss will be felt for decades to come.
Looking Forward
As I write this, I know Connie wouldn’t want us to linger in this grief. She’d probably say wave it aside and say something like, “I’m just glad God spoke through me.” She wouldn’t want us to focus on her, but rather on what she stood for.
Connie lived focused on God and helping others overcome the snares that so easily entangle us in our faith, so we can press on and offer ourselves as living sacrifices to our God and King. She’d want us to remember that this world is not our home, and that even death shouldn’t scare us. She’d want us to focus on loving others and extending the grace and mercy God shows us. She’d want our hearts to ache for the desperate need of the lost to be reunited with their loving Creator. She’d want us to set aside the distractions of the world and press on toward the prize awaiting us in eternity.
I pray we each will have even half the impact Connie White left on this world.
In light of Connie’s passing, I can’t help but look at her life and be reminded of the final words in our book: “One day at the end of time, you, Connie, and I will sit down in a beautiful grassy field surrounded by all of heaven’s wonders and share all the amazing ways God used your singleness to change lives. Until then, fight on, dear faithful Christian single.”
Connie’s gone before us to that heavenly field. She’ll be there waiting eagerly for each of us with a blanket laid out and a kind smile on her face.
One day, we’ll join her.
Until then, let’s live wilder,
Philip
